Decide what you actually want in life (What makes you happy) and then say NO to everything else that isn't that. Easier said than done right!?!? Everything... well I don't even know what makes me happy.
I'm going to talk about ENERGY here (I know it sounds corny) but stick with me for a moment.
Our bodies, like cars, need fuel to operate optimally. Similarly, our phones have a battery that needs to be recharged to have the energy needed to work. So we have to start thinking of our life the same way... if we are always running on empty or our battery is only being depleted and never recharged then we aren't going to get very far. And we certainly can't get anywhere on empty. So it you are struggling with this. You have to stop looking outside... you have to stop blaming others and making excuses and you have to look INSIDE.
Make yourself a priority and make time for Self-Care. Make Self-Care a priority in your life, not a luxury. We've been told you can't pour from an empty cup, guess what -it's true!!! Self-Care is how you take your power back!!!
So try this trick... think about how the tasks you do each day make you feel (I know sounds corny again) but seriously is each task: a task that depletes you or that energizes you? Simply put the tasks that energy you, you want to start doing more of... the tasks that deplete you want to do less of and eventually stop doing those tasks all together. So you question well I have to do "x" task... well teach someone else to do it and make sure it gets done but stop doing it.
Your surroundings have a huge impact on your outcome. Here are some tips about creating healthy surroundings:
Surround yourself with positive supportive people, places, and things
Joining or creating an accountability group
Embrace the value of self awareness
Find stress reducing activities that work for you
Work to improve your emotional management
The power of NO - stop doing those energy draining things
Avoiding the drama triangle & drift- it's only a drama, if we make it a drama
De-clutter, Organize, and eliminate what’s not serving you
Make healthy easy, make unhealthy hard
Be conscious of who you surround yourself with. A supportive environment makes a big difference.
So I could go into detail on any of the ten points above but the power of "NO" is one of the most important. So we have touched on how to focus in on the tasks and things that energize you and help you achieve your goals but we haven't discussed how to handle the people and their expectations. So here are some tips:
Gain Clarity - be clear on your vision (remember this is what you want to "YES" to and everything else should be a NO)
Weigh the cons - know the implications of saying yes (Remember the more you say yes to the things that don't serve you the further you drift from your vision)
Give yourself permission - realize saying NO is okay. (Remember - this isn't easy sometimes you feel bad for turning down volunteer opportunities, etc. But the thinner you spread yourself the less proficient you are at all of those things)
Say No the way you are most comfortable - use the medium you're most comfortable with (Facebook, email, IM, face-to-face, doesn't matter how - just has to get done)
No is a complete sentence - Keep it SIMPLE (you don't owe anyone an explanation)
Be Respectful (Value the other party's prospective)
Delay your response (No need to reply immediately, "I'll have to think about that")
Practice the pause - take time to process - right everything down first to consider
Provide an alternative (if you feel comfortable doing so, "I can't but I think so and so would be a great fit for that")
Remember sometime no reply is also a form of reply.
So stay focused on what matters most, say no and let go of anything that no longer serves you or doesn't help you achieve what you desire. Make yourself a priority and make time for Self-Care. Don't make what's on your schedule the priority, put your priorities on your schedule. Lastly self-awareness is key - focus in on what is energizing you. I was super resistant to all of this, but I'm so thankful I was willing to get uncomfortable and give up the good to make room for the great!