I am ENOUGH… And so are YOU!
You are enough just the way you are. Some of you might be asking yourselves, what does that mean and do I even believe that to be true?
It means you have everything within you to become who you want to be and live the life you want to live. Being enough has nothing to do with being perfect. As a recovering perfectionist, I had this paralysis or lack of action because I was waiting for this perfect moment, or for everything to be in perfect alignment, or for me to have it all figured out and every perfectly in place, before I could DO ANYTHING.
I realized I wasn’t alone, because I’ve found that our worries about being, doing, or having enough are often at the root of not only my problems but the majority of my clients’ struggles. And what I know is that not enoughness steals our dreams and so much joy from our lives. So if you struggle with not enoughness, you are going to want to read this post because it is for you!
That said I've been able to help others improve their physical health and even their mindset but so many clients struggle developing emotional reliance. Being physically unhealthy extends way beyond the pounds, and outwardly issues. It often stems from something much deeper. I do not strive to help people just lose weight. I strive to help them identify the roots that feed their soul, because that is where they find “strength” and “breakthrough.” That's how you find light on your darkest days, hope when you are ready to give up, and commitment to push through when times are tough. So I wanted to share here, some of the secret sauce that leads to this breakthrough. The first eye opening find, is the belief that "you are enough" and you need to let go of trying to be "PERFECT." We live in a world where effortless perfection seems to be the standard, instead of normalizing the fact that we all experience stress, sadness and anger, and that there’s nothing “wrong” with those feelings. Thus, the majority of people try to avoid and hide their discomfort. Complacency is something to fear, more than COVID. Playing it small and settling for a life less than what you are capable of, in order to avoid the fear of discomfort is a serious problem. Thus, we started the Resilience Project!
Blast from the past!
Let me tell you my life was JUST FINE. Can anyone else relate with that everything is “JUST FINE”? Still to this day I remember rolling over next to a loving husband, having a roof over my head, having my miracle children I had always dreamed of, with a good job, making nice money… but I was miserable. I remember thinking to myself frustrated… “What is wrong with me?”, “Why am I so miserable?”, and “Why can’t I just be HAPPY?”.
I remember the times of feeling like I was failing at everything, but parenting was at the top of the list. There was a time in my life where I would have to fight falling asleep on the way to work, when I would come home exhausted, grumpy, impatient, in pain, and just not the Mom or Wife I wanted to be. I remember the look on my young daughter’s face (with what I refer to now as "NO" days) when she would ask us if we could do something, we would say "not right now, mommy and daddy are too tired" or "mommy worked today, let's do it another time" I remember that look of disappointment over and over again.
I remember feeling so mad and frustrated with the littlest things (which I now identify as short-tempered - which is so similar to how I feel now during quarantine). The most trivial, insignificant, minor inconveniences could trigger an explosion inside me (the opposite of inner peace), but that was the state of a stressed out, self-neglected woman who could no longer see the blessings, only the inconveniences, of her life.
I remember my husband yelling "I can't do anything right, you are never happy anymore" This of course made me enraged, I was fuming: I wanted to defend, I wanted to excuse, I wanted to deny, but I couldn’t, because I knew he was right (Boy, do I hate it when he's right)! I began to question: Where did that happy woman go?
I remember looking at my daughter and as she worried: oh no, Mom is MAD! At this point my family was basically trained, mom's stressed, tired, overwhelmed, so we just need to give her space. I remember overhearing a conversation, where my daughter asked "is Mommy mad at me, did I do something wrong?" These kinds of things can break your heart. My unhappiness was resulting in my daughter and my husband being unhappy.
Something has to give!
It was clear what I was going through, was bleeding over into my family. Your children and family absorb what you are personally going through, so be mindful of your thoughts and actions and the affects they have on those around you. I knew things had to change but I didn't know how to make that happen, everything seemed overwhelming at the moment. I knew I needed to find balance, to become a more positive, present person. You can't win life, if you're losing in your mind. As you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change! Change your thoughts and you will change your life. So I quickly realized the shift that needed to happen was within me which would have a ripple affect onto my family. The saying "a healthy happy mom, equals a healthy happy home"... comes to mind. As Jerry and I both lost over 60lbs and transformed our physical health, we also went to work on our mindset and finances, so I could achieve that balance and be more present to enjoy the seemingly little things (like listening, laughing, dreaming, playing, connecting, and loving) that matter the most. It soon became clear to me that I wasn't alone and that others were struggling too. Perhaps I was meant to make it though all that I have, to show others what's possible. With this shift I was able to see all the things to be grateful for in my imperfect self and in my imperfect life, learning to give myself grace as I am a work in progress. Realizing “I am Enough!”
Fast Forward!
I have discovered, focusing on what you don’t have, will always make you feel like you’re not enough. You have the understanding that none of your imperfections or difficulties reflect your worth. The person you are is good enough to improve on those things and capable enough to become those things. So I eventually train myself out of a scarcity mindset and into enoughness. I had to decide that I am enough and always work to get back to this abundant mindset, anytime I’m thrown off course. I have discovered, you have to become a match for what you want in life, That doesn’t mean you have to focus so much on changing yourself but instead being more of yourself. Being free, intentional and purposeful in owning who you are, stepping into your infinite potential. Be thankful for what you have. You’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never ever have enough.
Every single one of our issues, of our problems, of our pain, of our suffering is not enoughness. Really think about this: Not enough time, not enough love, not enough money, it’s not good enough. I’m not good enough. Almost everything that I coach comes from not enoughness. And when you’re in that scarcity mindset, you don’t feel your best, you’re full of lack, and not a match for everything that you want. So I found it so important to ask myself in those moment "is this feeling based on fact or is this a story?" The truth is there is enough, you are enough, and there will always be enough and when you embrace this truth you become a match for what you desire and you start attracting more in you life, creating abundance. It’s so important that we practice living in an abundance mindset because we want to be a match for what it is that we want. Like attracts like, so have you ever noticed that when you’re in a state of not enoughness, you create more not enoughness?
For example, if you’re running around saying I don’t have enough time, I'm too busy, I’m never going to get it done, do you notice how it seems like you don’t have enough time? How maybe something unexpected happens that you need to take care of? It’s like you attract more not enoughness because you’re focused on your lack of time. Focusing on the negative, instead of prioritizing what's important, eliminating distractions and excuses, can cause you to run out of time. The same goes love and money. And so we’re living in such scarcity and lack, it’s like we have the faucet turned off on abundance because it’s all available, but it can not flow to you when you’re in a scarcity mindset. And what I’ve really discovered is that it really boils down to a belief that we all have at some point, and that I’m not enough. And the fact is that’s just not true, you are enough, you have all you need within, you just might not have tapped into the power within yet.
So many of you are saying well, I’ll feel enough when. When I’ve lost the weight, when I’m making more money, when I’ve found the dream guy, when I have the dream job, when I have it all together. But you’re not a match for all of those things because you’re living in the lack of it. So our work is to practice daily tapping into that power within, believing you are enough, you have enough, and being open to that abundance mindset.
If you don’t believe that you have enough money, when you look at your bank account, you are seeing the lack of the money you want, versus the abundance of the money you have. Or let’s say you are an entrepreneur. I’ve been working a lot women starting their business lately, and what I’ve noticed is that the brain will always try to tell you that your stuff isn’t good enough. And so I’ll ask these women, “when you don’t believe it’s enough, how can you expect other people to?”
No one is harder on me, than I am on myself, so I began to realize if I could be at peace with my performance, then others would certainly be satisfied. Do you take personal responsibility for your life? I may not be able to control everything in life, but I can control my actions and reactions and that is what shapes our future. I had to make the decision that no matter what I put out into the world, it is good enough. It was a decision that I made. Will I always want to improve on it? Of Course. My old website, was far from perfect, but it was good enough at the time. And it’s exactly the website I needed to get me to the point with the website that I have now, which is good enough now. And of course, I’m going to want to create a new website in the future. But you have the power to decide: it’s good enough at this moment and that doesn’t mean it’s perfect and that’s ok. Look for the enoughness in every moment. Surround yourself with enoughness, and decide that you are enough no matter what. Self-belief does not necessarily ensure success, but self-disbelief assuredly spawns failure.
I look back to that very first time I was asked to speak, when I had no idea what I was doing. And all the while, my mind was trying to tell me that I wasn’t good enough, and I just chose to ignore it and realize it was good enough for that moment in my life. And what I know is that not enoughness will rob you of enjoy what you do have and being present in the moment. And when it comes to who you are, you get to decide that you are enough as you are right now. Now, that doesn’t mean you won’t want to improve. I am always wanting to improve and evolve, but I don’t want to do it from a place of I’m not enough, so I create the need to become what I desire, so I can level up and become a match for what I want. So when you come from a place of I’m enough right now and I’m excited to create more enoughness, you’re going to attract more enoughness, because like attracts like (similar to a magnet). You’re going to attract more of the things that you want because you are an energetic match for it.
So it’s true you can’t control your circumstance, what life throws at you, but you can control how you perceive your circumstances, which will determine the outcome. You are in control of the outcome of your life, regardless of your circumstances. You have the power to decide to think a thought, you decide how a feeling affects you, and then you decide to act a certain way, and that’s creating your life. So if you think I’m not enough or my stuff is not enough or there’s not enough time or there’s not enough love, or there’s not enough money, I want you to notice how that makes you feel. Anxious, worried, desperate, terrible, depressed, rushed, right? And when you’re in those feeling states, when that’s your state of being, how do you show up? Are you more productive? Are you more focused? Are you in the state of receiving all of the abundance that’s available to you? Are you feeling confident in your work? Are you putting yourself out there?
When we’re in that scarcity mindset, that state of not enoughness, you’re not showing up fully as the greatest expression of ourselves. Because the greatest expression of ourselves always knows that we’re enough and there’s enough, versus when you are in that scarcity mindset, you’re thinking I’m enough, you’re thinking I have the time that I need, you’re thinking there is no hurry, just slow down. I relax, and then I get so much more done. But other thoughts that are in the state of enoughness, there’s more than enough customers. There’s more than enough money. There’s more than enough love. It’s around me all the time, all day, every day. I simply need to tap into it. I need to be open to it. Then you show up in life with your heart open and you start attracting all of these opportunities and people into your life because you’re in an abundance mindset, a state of enoughness. You are a match for it.
I’m not enough, manifested in odd ways in our lives. I’m not enough, is what led to my weight problem. Because when you think you’re not enough, how do you treat yourself? You don’t show up in your life doing the things that you want to do because you have the story that you’re not enough, and then there’s so much pain because you know you’re not doing the things that you want to do. So you start numbing, you start eating, you start putting on weight, you start gathering more and more evidence of see, I told you, I’m not enough. So I share that with you because I’ve had to train myself into the daily practice of tapping into that power within, believing I am enough, I have enough, and being open to that abundance mindset. If I can do it, you can do it. And because I have done it, I can teach you to do it; because I’ve been able to define a duplicatable method for creating more of what you want in your life, I’ve now taught others to teach this to others too. So what’s the duplicatable method for becoming enough and creating more of what you want in your life? I’ve boiled it down a series of doable steps which I will post more details on in this blog, but here is the overview:
Decide what you want and what you are willing to give up to achieve it. Make a doable action plan to achieve it. Believe you can have it. Believe you deserve it. Believe it's possible for you. Believe you are ENOUGH. Find your people. Work on it EVERY SINGLE DAY, despite resistance. Be grateful, celebrate those achievable wins, look beyond short-term losses, measure, review, adjust, and don’t quit. Create that habit, become masterful, make it second nature and automatic.
That's how you succeed!
You have to fall in love with building the identity of someone who does the work, rather than merely dreaming about the results you want. So you have a CHOICE…
You can CHOOSE to do nothing and things will stay the same, because nothing changes, if you change nothing.
Or you can CHOOSE to take action with our duplicatable method for becoming enough and becoming the dominate force in creating more of what you want in your life.
So for those who want tomorrow to be different! I’m going to show you how to harness the power within to achieve what you desire: faster and with less effort! So don’t miss out I’m sharing decades of knowledge, multiple degrees, decades of working with clients and helping others.
Because you can want change but:
Not know how to make it happen
Not have the capacity to make it happen
Not have the belief that it’s possible to change
Not have the follow through to consistently make it happen, so the change sticks
So remember you have the power to determine your outcome, you are enough: Whether you think you CAN or think you CAN’T… you’re RIGHT!
These uncertain times can create so many challenges on so many levels. Change can be hard; I want you to know, I understand how overwhelming it can be, to even try to make a change when you barely have enough energy to make through the day. Change can be terrifying and unnerving. I want you to know that THIS TOO SHALL PASS. It’s easy to settle for the same things because we are creatures of habit, because we are comfortable, because familiarity is reassuring. But magic isn’t found in certainty. Magic happens when we believe in the power within and the power of our imaginations instead of dwelling in our current realty. I’m here as proof that good things happen to those that don't give up, that realize they are enough, and they are worth making themselves a priority. You are going to breakthrough. You are meant for so much more. PLEASE, keep going, you are not alone. The light is there. The answer is there. You have everything you need within you, you just need to discover it and believe it. Start where you are, use what you have, and take action to make it happen, because the timing will never be perfect. The fact is we all have what it takes, to take a step in the right direction and then build from there. But the question is will you CHOOSE to take action… even if you’re not ready, even if you don’t yet believe?!!?
Hope this helps someone today, to not hold themselves back, to not get stuck in victimhood of trauma, to not be limited by a prognosis, diagnosis, or the opinion of others. We all have the power to overcome adversity, so no matter what you are going through, know you are worth it and you matter! As you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change! Let go of the baggage you don't need to carry. If you want to break free, you need get crystal clear on what you want and you have to start with investing in your mental, emotional and physical health, becoming stronger than before. Emerge a healthier you. LIBERATING PARENTS FOR LOVE allows parents to gain balance by doing less, so they can achieve more.
I am a woman, a wife, a mother, a coach, a speaker and I am enough. I make mistakes, but I own them and learn from them. I accept that I sometimes self-numb with anything, with filling my life full of busyness, with going into self- imposed isolation. I accept that I crave financial abundance, a freedom to do what I want, when I want it, and have the health to enjoy what matters most. Even with all of that, I am still enough and you are enough too.
Empowering others to create the life they desire, to find comfort in their own skin, and gain the healthy mindset to be truly present in the moment and enjoy all that life has to offer, is the most rewarding and fulfilling thing I have ever done. All that said, there are so many people affected by the current state of affairs, so it seems inappropriate to talk about an ideal life when so many people are fighting to just survive right now. However, I have found the opposite to be true and found it important to share. It's our dreams and the glimmer of hope that keeps us going and pushing through the hard stuff. If we focus on "just enough" we get caught in the loop of barely making it. So if you desire change, something better, or for things to improve - then you have to focus on creating a healthy mindset. You can't win life if you're losing in your mind. Change your thoughts and you will change your life.
Our coaching approach is designed to make you stronger mentally and physically, happier and healthier and most of all: to help you find the strength within yourself to be your own superhero, rescuing yourself and achieving your goals. Our mission is to teach, awaken, empower, equip and help people everywhere discover how to transform their life and STRETCH BEYOND IMPOSSIBLE. So let’s get clear on what you really WANT and see it come to LIFE. So go to our free resources on our website right now, take a FREE Well-Being Assessment to determine what areas to focus on first. None of us are perfect, we start where you currently are, let's setup a meeting to customize a plan to suit your needs, and create an action plan that takes you from where you are right NOW to where you WANT to be!!!
The purpose of this post was to help others change their HABITS and set up systems for long-term success. Do not blame or become a victim. You may not be able to control everything in life, but you can control your actions, reactions, and how prepared you are to handle whatever life throws at you, which is what shapes your future. You have everything you need within you, waiting for you to unlock the light within. Believe in yourself. We don’t have a privilege of a practice life… we get one shot, so make it count! Witnessing our thoughts, not reacting out of old habit, and becoming present empowers us to better craft our lives the way we desire. So stop living in autopilot, be conscious and present... be... here... now... 𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕔𝕒𝕟’𝕥 𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕖 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥’𝕤 𝕘𝕠𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕠𝕟 𝕒𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕕 𝕪𝕠𝕦, 𝕦𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕝 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕖 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥’𝕤 𝕘𝕠𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕠𝕟 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟 𝕪𝕠𝕦. Share this post with someone that might need to hear these words today and reach out so we can guide you to write your own #EnoughnessManifesto